Ou est La Beouf?

Classically, when we see tongue during a movie makeout scene we think: "Hey buddy, keep that in your mouth."

Now, when we saw Shia Labeouf's tongue (twice -- not that we were counting) making out with some ho in "Disturbia," we thought (in tandem), "Hey buddy, put that in my mouth."

You know what we love about inordinately hot 20-year-old actors? We get older...they stay the saaaaaame age.

An Ellipsis is Worth a Thousand Words

Bree: Dude, Urmila, he is definitely gay.
Urmila: That makes zero sense. Why is he always calling and emailing and trying to hang out with me then?
Bree: Because you're cool?
Urmila: I'm not that cool.
Bree: ....
Urmila: ....
Bree: That's true.

The Internet Scares Me

So the internet scares me. Or rather having any information about myself on the internet scares me. I am, I think, just a couple years too old for MySpace. Kids these days. But I hear MySpace is on the downslope anyway.

I found out a few days ago that someone at my company has posted on their MySpace page, a picture of their enormous fake boobs. Amazing. I mean, not that I wouldn't have done it - at least if my surgery hadn't been horribly botched.

The surgery "mistake" is really less of a problem and more of an opportunity because, hey, fused nipples - really the wave of the future. Plus it makes a great cupholder.

Anyhoo, rather than post under a fake, but realistic sounding name - I've gone with Luddette. It's like "luddite", but more feminine. And, Urmila, you can just call me "L".

And I look nothing like Queen Latifah.

I really like Local 16. Its close to our apt. It has a roof deck. The bartenders are nice and cute. They have an inexpensive pinot noir that I looove and delicious medjool dates stuffed with bacon and feta. They generally play decent music. So, Local...awesome.

Please take note that the aforementioned positives that make Local awesome have NOTHING to do with the people that go to Local. I seem to remember a while back that it was written up in one of the daily (weekly?) papers that DC has (okay, maybe it was the Post) as THE super-dooperest place to meet/hook-up with people. Surprisingly, tons of BnT'ers read this article and now they crowd my local bar making it impossible for me to go there weekend nights - well, thats not entirely true cause these people tend to leave around 11 to meet their fellow BnT'ers and hang with 21-yr-olds in Adams Morgan (hot!). Anyways, this is a conversation had one lovely evening atop the roof deck with the typical sort of, ahem, gentleman that hits on unsuspecting ladies like me and my lovely roommate at this establishment.

Patrick (to Urmila): You remind me of someone.
Urmila: Uh-huh.
Patrick: Have you seen The Office?
Urmila: (under her breath) Sweet Jesus.
Bree: ...
Patrick (to Bree): Do you know where I'm going with this?
Bree: No.

Self-hating, bad

Its a real rarity that there will be a song that I like that makes me feel icky for liking it (btw - I have really good taste in music). I mean, I'm comfortable with saying that I like some shitty pop. I like all Avril Lavigne songs (okay, except that one at the end of her first album where she starts rapping; that one's not okay) even though I think that most people with decent taste in music and/or half a brain think she sucks devin's balls. That is fine. I still feel okay (good even, happy-type) for liking her music. The same can be said for a few Hilary Duff songs and that arms race song by Pete Wentz's penis. Come to think of it, I can only think of one song that I genuinely like that makes me feel like a bad human being and, well, hate myself (on par with how I can imagine I'd feel if I liked any Moby songs, cause, ew).

Blah blah blah...what I'm trying to say is FUCK JOHN MAYER AND THAT GRAVITY BULLSHIT.

Boyfriend of the Day

Today's boyfriend not only wrote a very funny, albeit self-conscious, book about the soul-crushing despair of the modern workplace, but he also inspires a clarification about "Urmila's Boyfriend of the Day." Namely, that there's nothing untoward about being named my boyfriend of the day (though past boyfriends may disagree). It's not...romantic. Or whatever. In the case of today's bf, Joshua Ferris, it is especially unromantic, because he is already married, and not to me. And if there is one thing I respect -- if -- it's the sanctity of marriage.

Anyway, I also heart Joshua Ferris because he's the butt of tons of Gawker jokes, and that's always a good barometer of one's awesomeness.

http://gawker.com/news/joshua-ferris/joshua-ferris-remembers-getting-puke-on-the-little-people-248918.php

Short-alls.

Here at DHA we are allowed to hate not-awesome things. And one such thing is the "short-all."

Shortalls. Legless overalls. Or shorts with a bib.

Now I have made some (several) questionable fashion choices in my time. It's the price you pay for being such a visionary. And yes, I did rock the overalls several years after leaving junior high, and several years after Dylan McKay wore them with only one of the straps attached (the other hanging loose and free). And I wore them with, if I recall, pointy boots and a silk camisole, so.

But I still think I'm within my non-judgmental rights to say that this is NOT OKAY:

http://www.chipandpepper.com/Wiley_Overall_Short_in_Neff/r/3042507/pd/np/2140/p/1116.html

Is that made of chambray? Um, and are the bottoms pre-rolled?

And even Dylan wouldn't know what to do with that halter neck.

I am so disturbed.

Ha ha ha, roommates

In honor of Day 1 DHA, a laundry list of what we find to be awesome and our, er, dislikes –

The former: day drinking, puppies, francophile-ness, law students (former, current, ourselves) Morningstar farms, stealing (hearts), champagne, Avril Lavigne, the left coast, the right coast, sexy time, handbags and shoes, family, ellipses, jello shots, boys with names that begin with J.

The latter: too many to name but odds are, you. HA - kidding (a little!). Mostly we dislike people that take themselves too seriously. And people that are not awesome, obvi.

Happy birfday, bitches.

Ed. Note. One of us may try to hide the amount of alcohol consumed by this online diary (hint: not me!). Do not be fooled. Alcohol is most definitely a major component of said awesomeness.

Summer Rain

You know who's awesome, and like, an incredibly underrated lyricist?

Belinda Carlisle.

"And his kisses hotter than the Santa Ana winds."

It doesn't get more evocative than that.