It has been ages since I have posted. I had a tres long vacation in the glorious Big Sky state to attend my baby sister's high school graduation. I would've posted but it's totes impossible to post when you barely have electricity and you ride "to town" in a covered wagon and you get your water from the well in the field out back, all the while scared shitless that you might have a run-in with the natives and get bow-and-arrowed in the ass. Wild west, indeed. But, now I'm back in the sparkling metropolis that is DC. Thank God...tourists, humidity, black people.
The graduation I attended was in a town of about 7,000 nestled near the Rocky Mountains. It was, um, interesting. And, I imagine, eye-opening for one that has never had the privilege of visiting Montana. Now....I love my sister Brailey. She is stylish, witty, beautiful, interesting, and a touch o' crazy (the good kind). But her friends? And her school? Awful. The senile grandma sitting behind me talked throughout the entire ceremony. The salutatorian showed a clip from "Finding Nemo." The valedictorian began her speech by saying that her goal was to inspire at least half of her fellow graduates and went on to base her entire speech on a quote from a song by the Game, repeating over and over that "It's not that I can't stop, It's that I won't stop." (The next line being, "I make it hot - I do it.") Catchy but not so much about improving the healthiness of one's life. The featured speaker (the history teacher) went through each of her class periods (one through seven) naming her favorite students and then after a twenty minute un-funny (obvs) speech began singing "You've Got a Friend".......unironically. And she had that church-lady singing voice. Ya know, the one that can't really hit the high notes and thinks she's really good cause she's singing about/to the Lord?? Jesu Christe. The dude in front of my mom kept flipping his mullet hair from side-to-side and my mom and I started laughing uncontrollably at him while the principal was doing a tribute to a girl that died. Air horns and cow bells rang throughout the gym after almost every graduate's name was uttered. And there's more (but these are indicative of any large function that occurs in this area)....a lot of people wore jeans and t-shirts, it started late, bad dye jobs, etc. All-in-all, it was a complete test of my ability to be poised and appear to be enjoying myself - as opposed to looking like I wanted to kill myself...I failed.
But I have to give propers to Ms. Urmila, who travelled for eight (yes, eight) hours to reach my vacation spot. And she had to endure the graduation ceremony. But it was followed by an evening soiree complete with an inordinate amount of pictures of Brailey, Prosecco, hanging with Britney and Brailey (always a treat), baked beans, chats about the appeal of small towns, and mint wafers from The Parrot (everyone should try them. Urmila had like fifty.). So, I think she enjoyed herself.
This post started as a description of the hein graduation ceremony but thats really just secondary to my main objective...to thank Urmila for coming (my first post-high school friend to visit my home) and for being such an awesome friend. I love her (NULLUS). Please excuse my sappiness/lovey-dovey ness. It's a rarity and generally followed by bitchiness. Speaking of, I saw a woman walking to work today wearing socks with sandals....disgusting.
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I LOVE YOU TOO! (Nullus.) It was fun. And I learned a lot about myself. Like, for instance, I learned that I can only go about 8 non-sleeping hours without alcohol (graduation really tested and proved that principle). I also learned that I am really partial to spearmint flavored buttercream mints, and not clove. Most importantly, I learned that I really missed out on having sisters. It's perhaps why I post such vag-y shit about loving ladies all the time. The Williams girls rule!
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